#“it's not that deep” i agree. it's a parody and it's funny i liked it a lot

[pickapea]

the kens being portrayed as the villains in barbie is kind of giving the same as fantasy racism (like when the oppressed ethnic group are oppressed as a kind of revenge for something bad they did in the past) like it's pretty whack that the happy ending in barbie is the oppressive matriarchy regaining absolute power again

[chloessleepystories]

Sisters part 2

Kenzie woke to find that her sheets were soaked with sweat and her fingers were jammed deep in her soaking pussy. She sat up with a start. What was happening? She never had erotic dreams, rarely touched herself, and certainly never slept in the nude.

She absentmindedly slid her middle two fingers into her mouth and tasted her juices.

Yet here she was, undeniably naked, though she was sure she hadn’t gone to bed that way. And she’d been having some kind of sex dream... Hadn’t she? Kenzie couldn’t remember details, just an impression—of wantonness, and school. Her school uniform, maybe?

And as for touching herself, she obviously had been. Quite a bit. And ...

She realized she was still sucking on her fingers and jerked her hand from her mouth. What was happening to her??

She picked up her sister’s iPod from among the tangled sheets, noticing that it had apparently died overnight, and padded into the living room after hastily throwing on underwear and her oversize Tardis T shirt. Her sister was the only one home, since mom had already left for work.

“Chloe, did you —”

“Could you do me a favor and put in a piece of toast for me?” her sister interrupted.

“What? Oh sure...” she said, going into the kitchen. “Chloe, is the —”

“It feels good to do things for me, doesn’t it?”

“Mmmmm, it does,” said Kenzie absently, and sure enough a little shudder of pleasure ran through her body as she got out the loaf of bread. “And it feels good to agree, doesn’t it?” said Chloe, following her into the kitchen.

“Uh huh!!”

She gave an uncharacteristic giggle as she dropped the bread into the toaster. It DID feel good to agree with her big sister!! Like, stupid-good!!

“Don’t forget to charge your new iPod,” Chloe said silkily. “Then you can take it to school with you! Won’t that be fun?”

“Uh huh!!” Kenzie was sucking on one of her fingers again, but she didn’t notice.

“Was there something you were going to ask me?”

Kenzie wrinkled her brow in an almost-parody of concentration. “I dess nod,” she said around her finger.

“Then run along. Get charged and get dressed.” Kenzie nodded obediently. “Maybe you want to wear a skirt today.”

Kenzie’s eyes widened. “I do!!” she said, wiping her wet fingers on the front of her underwear.

It felt good.

To think makes you

Dizzy

Dizzy

Dizzy

Kenzie was having a much harder time than usual with her honors classes today. She was two months from graduating near the top of her class, with a solid scholarship at a great college waiting for her just ahead and an undeniably bright future right after. So, a couple days of slacking off probably weren’t going to hurt her... Still, she didn’t like to let up on the forward momentum and really wasn’t doing it on purpose. It was the music! she decided. The tunes kept running through her head every time she tried to concentrate on something in class.

Your thinking is

Fuzzy

Fuzzy

Fuzzy

Chloe was 20, just 2 years older, but the sisters had never gotten along very well. Their ... priorities were different; Chloe liked to have fun too much, that’s what Kenzie thought. And Kenzie didn’t like to have fun at all—that’s what Chloe always said.

That’s why it was so unusual and so ... nice!! ... that her big sister had given her an iPod full of tunes she’d picked out just for her. A modern-day mix tape, and Kenzie loved every single one! And the tunes were so infectious, she couldn’t stop humming them even in class.

Sister ... Sister ...

You are such a good devoted sister ...

But what was funny was that although she could swear there were words, when she tried to think of them, they drifted away like mist. And she was usually so good at learning lyrics! Her memory was normally flawless ... And she loved learning show tunes in particular! But these were ... different.

There was that one with the driving beat—like DAH-du-dah-dah dah-du-dah-dah DAH-du-dah-dah dah-du-dah-dah....

Silly makes you horny and then

Horny makes you silly and then

Silly makes you horny and then

Horny makes you silly and then

Silly makes you horny and then

Horny makes you silly ...

And that one that was like a power ballad or a love song—how did it go, la da di daaa ...

Now, you don’t need to remember

What you would like to forget ...

All you need to remember

Is obedience, pet ...

... dee, dee-dee dum ... Nope, it was on the tip of her mind. Maybe one more listen and she would get the words in her head...

You don’t need to remember ...

The school day passed in a blur of humming catchy tunes and staring at her blank notebook (taking notes was so boring!).

She skipped working on homework to relax on the couch and watch reality TV with slightly unfocused eyes as she rubbed the front of her knee-length skirt. Twice her mother had to tell her to sit like a lady. Kenzie just giggled.

Just before bed, Chloe made a suggestion. “Why don’t you give yourself a nice orgasm tonight?” And as usual, her sister had the best ideas.

She gave herself two.

Whatever Chloe wants ...

Chloe gets ...

Kenzie woke to find that her sheets were soaked with sweat and her fingers were jammed deep in her soaking pussy.

She stretched, kicked off the tangled covers, and luxuriated in the feeling of air on her naked body as she stroked her sensitive clit, thinking back on her sexy dreams. She’d been displaying herself at school, bending over in a schoolgirl uniform like she’d worn in 8th grade. She’d even lifted her skirt to show her underwear to some boys in the library. Something she would never, ever do! Her rational mind was disgusted, horrified ... But it wasn’t in charge anymore, as her back arched and she came loudly.

Snatching up the dead iPod, she threw on a robe but didn’t bother closing it as she drifted into the living room. “Mmmmm morning sis!!”

“You’re in a good mood. Cum a lot?”

“Uh huh!!”

“Good girl. Why don’t you go scramble me a couple of eggs?”

“Okay!!” she giggled, and disappeared into the kitchen.

“It feels good to giggle, doesn’t it?” Chloe called.

“It sure does!!”

Chloe thought for a moment, then called, “And wash your hands!!”

[imzsuzsis-blog]

"Thank you Amanda... Damn, the other one is fine, you just scared me... I see him now as an embryo." "No Lando. That's a fetus, shut up. I'm glad that sprint pole is here, but don't make such a fuss." "It's okay, ma'am." I bit my lip, I hated it when someone told me to shut up or shut up. Then the vampire comes out of me, I won't bite a good person. But now I want deer. ,, navel piercing? Shit, you only speak English????” "I have that too and I've never hit a big drum." "What else do you have?", "My ass is a fucking tattoo that makes me a real bitch." I pulled my nose up and started sputtering again, it could be anything, I didn't do much with it, I was just a little bit louder, that's all, but it was nothing because it only happened later that the sprint pole was mine and I could scream with a throat full of joy and I just hugged Loki the whole time and I said what our relationship is young for... The word "I love you" is beautiful, beautiful, but still early. "I have to go, I want to withdraw this love too soon." I licked my mouth inside, it was a big problem, they came out either because I was a little sad or because they told me to shut up. I held my vampire teeth in front of my mouth, palmed both of them, but I didn't understand anything with them, even when I went out the door at a fast pace, because some blood came out of it, yes, I bit someone in the castle and sucked the blood out of them, I was thirsty, I couldn't take it . I'm still 90. I have to control myself or join a vampire family. I can't do this anymore, even if I cheerfully lie to everyone that I'm 24. Yes, I wasn't 15 when I was bitten by a vampire because I had an illness that could not be cured in 1934. Good guy, I got the flu to such an extent that I almost died of it. We knew the glossary well, but we didn't know that a vampire came over even on the day of my death, when it was really bad, he bit me all the time, I don't know who he was, I just remember that he had a good son with whom I dated for a while.

"Lokiiiiii help me please!!!!!!!" I believe Lando ran out of breath, his mouth looked like a vampire's, his teeth were sharp and bloody, and his mouth was full of blood around him. "What is this party costume you're wearing?" "Don't fuck me, it's not because of a party in a disco that I'm shining like a fucking disco ball!!!!!" He came out and stood by a wall, then he hit a big one so that it broke in and we saw the snooker tables inside. "Good, good, now calm down and tell me what happened. You know, we agreed that we know there are vampires, demons and their companions in the world, if you are a vampire I will believe you." I went closer to him and took him out of the shards, but he was quite bloodthirsty, so I started backing away from him so that I wouldn't be the next victim. I didn't succeed, he jumped behind me and I could already feel his breath on my neck. "Darling, please don't. I know you are thirsty but don't!!!! If you really love me then..." "I don't care, you and I will be together forever from now on what you're going to do..." "What's more, this isn't a parody of a Dracula movie from the '90s, Lando, and it wasn't funny!!!! Leslie Nilsen was also spinning in him grave from this bad black joke, my dear.” I slapped him when he put his tongue on me, but he didn't let go. When I realized it, I moaned and trembled. It hurt. In fact, I don't know what a vampire bite is like, but I don't think it's that deep. ,,Deep!!!!!!!!!" ,,Jesus Loki!!!!!!”

I knelt next to him and covered my mouth again with the third person whom I would gently bite as I pleased. First Osc in the car on the way to the track when he didn't pay attention, today two more, a strange woman and Loki, what the hell is wrong with me, fuck me. I looked up to see a woman standing in front of me with red-brown hair that must be sexy for heterosexuals, her blue eyes, her nose must have been operated on, her mouth is average and her ears are full of soda. Her outfit is a shoulder-length pullover with sexy jeans and white sneakers. "Peacher Xedir?" I could only nod with tears in my eyes and tell the lady what I did again and with whom. "I loved Loki, I was a jerk again and all I thought about was drinking." I could smell it, I could feel what was coming, I took my hair out of my eyes and looked down. "You didn't have it with you, huh?" You killed the whole Norris family and now you're Lando?” "No, it's not true, I've settled in. I just wanted to be a human again, but it didn't work. The fucking pregnancy is the reason I slept with a good man's boy and now I'm pregnant, Andery." She crouched down in front of me and I hugged her trembling, I was afraid of what would happen if it turned out to be Lando Norris the vampire...

————————————————————————————-

"I'm a vampire, I'm a vampire." I rolled over in bed and kicked poor Loki. Finally, I climbed onto his upper body with a tearful face and grabbed him. "It's okay, it's okay." I woke up to his caress, I looked at him, I was very shocked, this dream made me ready. "Tell me." He wiped the tears from my face. I finally started sobbing with my legs outstretched and clutching him. "I was a vampire, I was a vampire!!!!!!! I killed people!!!!!!!” "Shh baby, it's just a dream, vampires don't exist." ,,But yes!!!!! in my dream it was so real.” I sniffed when he was already kissing my forehead and I asked for my kiss of sorrow again.

[selenacosmic]

This is a bit funny but how would the warlords (+ Kennyo) react to learning that there were intruders while they were gone from their home only to found out that they got taken out by the Sengoku equivalent of the Home Alone traps, created by none other than MC?

Ohh this is really funny! Thank you for the request. Funnily enough, this reminds me of the home alone parody cybird made with Keiji.

Warlords being caught in MC’s traps accidentally.

Oda forces.

Nobunaga Oda.

He isn’t one to be caught so easily by a trap, Nobunaga was always prepared in case someone tries catching him off guard. However… this was a bit unexpected to him.

He was just going to visit your room at night, nothing much (wink wink) but he was unexpectedly caught in one of your traps. It was a net that covered him completely, and it was hard to move in it. Nobunaga will feel both frustrated and embarrassed, he will convince you with Konpeito bribe to not mention this to anyone.

Hideyoshi Toyotomi.

Hideyoshi is used to telling you to be careful with the dangers of the world around you, always stay alerted. Well… you definitely became prepared with your traps. He will be visiting you just momentarily to see if you are alright, it was a bit late but it was precisely to make sure you were ok.

The moment he got in? Boom, a trap was triggered and sent a sandal flying towards him. His face was red, both from embarrassment and the sandal.

Ieyasu Tokugawa.

He is another one that warns you to be careful, with the excuse of “I don’t want to have to protect you all the time”. Truth is, Ieyasu worries about you a lot and if you can handle yourself on your own. However, poor Ieyasu wasn’t expecting what was coming…

He was just walking through the corridor, when suddenly he slipped on something, making him fall on floor. Apparently you put a banana peel on the floor in front of your room at night for unwanted visitors and forgot to take it in the morning. Ieyasu was very annoyed and grumpy.

Mitsuhide Akechi.

The prankster? The one who enjoys teasing others and playing tricks at them? No way, there is absolutely no way he would fall for a trap… or is there? Truth be told, this was more about luck, Mitsuhide happened to see you preparing a trap in front of your room, and he needed to see it.

You will innocently suggest that he tries it, just to make sure it good. He will agree, it’s not like he would let such a silly trap get him- next thing he knows, Mitsuhide is on the floor, rope trapping his whole body. That… made him shocked.

Masamune Date.

This was also quite the surprise for Masamune, though he wouldn’t be angry about it. Here’s what happened, Masamune wanted to sneak a special dinner made only for you by him, he should be lucky that he didn’t spill any of it when he fell for your trap.

Apparently, there was a trigger near your door that, when stepped on, would make a small object hit the person’s head. Good to alert you to be prepared and slow whoever it is down. You ended up treating his head for him, luckily it wasn’t a big wound and it didn’t cause much damage.

Mitsunari Ishida.

Poor Mitsunari… even if your trap was safe from the warlords, he would fall for it anyway. This time it was because he was distracted, Mitsunari was reading a book while walking… which is already very dangerous. Somehow you managed to make a trap door in front of your room, but you were still testing it to make sure it would only activate when true intruders appeared.

Mitsunari ended up falling in it, luckily it wasn’t deep at all, but it made him fall. He would still be reading and would be surprised when he stops and look around. Just how did he get there?

Keiji

Ha! He is smart, Keiji wouldn’t easily fall for traps, you could never fool him with your traps. Yet… here he is, tied upside down on a tree branch. He will not be smiling at you when you find him and release him from the trap.

Just for that, you are in for some punishment, which is revenge! Just you wait, Keiji will think of a way to pay you back.

Ranmaru Mori.

Ranmaru is a skilled ninja, so naturally he is used to avoiding traps. This one will be very silly when compared to the other traps though. You will try to catch him, using peaches as bait.

It’s the famous trap box with a bait underneath it, but with a big box. It looked way too obvious when Ranmaru saw it, he giggled at it and played along. “Kyaa, you got me!” Will be his reaction, just to make you happy that you got him. Besides, he got peaches as rewards.

Uesugi-Takeda alliance.

Kenshin Uesugi.

Trapping him is both easy and difficult. There are many ways you can get his attention, but it shouldn’t be forgotten that kenshin trains his ninjas, he knows every trick to avoid and get out of traps. The best trap to catch him off guard would be the attack type.

Try using triggers that, if he steps on, will release objects in his direction. Even if he falls for these traps, kenshin will be fast to take his sword and cut any objects that is thrown at him.

Shingen takeda.

Falling for traps? Unless shingen wants to, he wouldn’t just fall this easily for traps. He does find your traps adorable, and even gives you advises on how to improve them. He also trains his own ninjas, which is why he wouldn’t fall for any traps.

So, imagine his surprise when he tried taking a few sweets on the kitchen and got caught in a trap. He will be completely trapped with rope, the sweets will likely fly onto him as punishment. Though considering how tall he is, the sweets would only manage to hit his chest. What a waste of pastries… or maybe not.

Yukimura Sanada.

Trapping him will be pretty fun, Yukimura would accidentally get caught up in one of your traps and bicker endlessly with you about it. Apparently, he was up early in the morning and was heading to the training grounds for an early morning workout, only to fall and end up trapped in one of your traps.

It was a hole in the ground that was covered as a disguise, it was not deep so he didn’t get hurt, but it also kept him there for a while, he had to make a fuss to get someone’s attention for help.

Sasuke.

Sasuke loves traps, as a ninja he has tried many different kinds of traps, and has installed many of them in the ceiling of Kasugayama. Since he knows them, it’s obvious that he wouldn’t get caught in them. Little did he know that you also went to the ceiling and planted your own traps.

Everyone in the castle could only hear loud noises from the ceiling, not understanding what it was. Later, you will find Sasuke getting out from the ceiling in your room, covered in small spikes. Nothing deadly but it still hurts.

Yoshimoto Imagawa.

Yoshimoto would be angry… he would hate it if he got dirty or if his clothes got messed up for being caught in one of your traps, and also because it’s too troublesome to deal with traps. Which is why a trap that includes getting him all dirty would make him… a bit mad.

He was just taking a stroll on the garden, wanting to look at the beauty of it, the flowers that were blooming, the river… he noticed a particularly strange flower. Yoshimoto will try to pull it, only to get hit by mud from your trap. You made it just for fun, but it got Yoshimoto really upset since it ruined one of his favorite kimonos.

Kanetsugu.

Oh… you should be careful with this one. If he sees fit to punish you for a trap, he will. Kanetsugu knows that you do it only for protection, but what if lord kenshin gets caught up in these?! He will have his point proven when he gets caught up in one of your traps, apparently it was a trap that, if triggered, would throw a bucket with water at the person.

He will be wet from head to toe, his arms crossed as he looked at you. Yeah… you were in for lots of nagging.

Lone forces.

Kennyo.

Kennyo understand your need to make traps in case someone tries invading them, but wouldn’t it be too dangerous? What if innocent people got caught up in them? He will notice this when he accidentally gets caught up in you. It was a net on the floor that, the moment you step on it, would suddenly trap the person in it. He got spooked at first, but managed to release himself by cutting the rope.

This trap could be dangerous for animals too… Kennyo will talk with you about it and how you should tone down with the traps.

Kichou.

He wouldn’t judge you for having traps, you shouldn’t trust him or anyone else. But he might scold you a bit if he gets caught up in one of them. The trap was a little dangerous, it would send small spikes if the trap was triggered, this was designed specially for enemies.

Kichou will easily avoid the spikes, easily deactivating your trap. He will find the idea interesting though.

Motonari Mouri.

Traps, huh? He likes them occasionally, but Motonari prefers to be more straightforward, he only uses them on elaborate plans. He will wonder what kinds of traps you can make with that head full of flowers. If he got caught up in one of them… he might get made.

Motonari was almost hit by a sandal when he opened the door to your shared room, though he quickly caught it. He will give you a glare… and then comes the punishment, a good smack on the butt should teach you. Even if it was by accident.

[thewertsearch]

Asks Compilation 11/12

I never considered that Aradia could be feeling sincere gratitude towards Equius - that's a good point, and might partially explain her flushed feelings for him. Similarly, I never thought about how difficult and impractical a relationship would be for Equius, given he has this kind of strength paired with this kind of dexterity.

Anyway, I half-agree with your thesis. I can imagine a hypothetical kismesissitude between an older, more mature Equius and Aradia, and I think that relationship could potentially be healthy, for the reasons you describe.

But the one we're getting is doomed from the start - Equius's mind-control shenanigans have pretty much torpedoed the whole thing. I don't think he can have a healthy relationship until he figures out why that was wrong.

I'll give you a freebie right now - most of the Jojo villains would fit right in with the Felt!

Yeah, it's not like romantic rivalry is a new idea. Really, the more I think about it, the more I think Hussie's riffing on real relationship tropes with all the quadrants.

Hell, I could probably list some fictional characters that work pretty well as Moirails - and I'm not just talking about The Locked Tomb!

[ sent when you posted your troll ranking! - C ]

She's the best, she's the worst, and she's destined for great terrible things.

Sorry Eridan - someone had to nab last place!

He does have a great design. The cape and scarf work well together - I can see how he'd be easy and fun to cosplay.

We have two opposing views here, and they both make good arguments. Aristocrats do tend to be egotistical by nature - but Alternia would expect him to act that way, even if it wasn't his natural tendency.

I personally don't think Eridan ever intended to exterminate the land-dwellers, but I'm not sure he ever realized that himself.

Don't forget Insane Clown Hussie, which is when your webcomic author keeps putting more harlequins in their story.

Toby, what are you doing back in my ask box? Get outta here, you scamp!

Ayy!

It's funny, I never considered that many people are reading through the liveblog/chrono/ tag. I'm almost never on my blog's page; I see it through the dashboard!

Happy belated birthdays, Jade, Dave, and, Rose!

Odd. It really looks like John's birthday should be December 2nd. Maybe something went wrong with his meteor.

The Newtonverse is a corruption of Homestuck, but Homestuck is already a parody of a million other things. It's one layer too deep, and feels 'wrong' as a result.

Unless Cool and New Webcomic is a similar style of parody, in which case, who knows? Maybe the Newtonverse is simply real, and trying to break into our reality.

Yeah, that makes sense. She certainly looks like a classic eldritch monster.

I can't see the commentary - I assume because some of it contains spoilers. For comments that don't spoil anything, feel free to send them along.

It's always very tempting to check out other livebloggers so I can compare and contrast. I won't, though - quite aside from any worries about spoilers, I just don't want to influence my own opinions!

This has always been a blind spot with me, and it always will be. Try as I might, I will never recognize the difference between Rouge and Rouge.

I knew the comic had about 8000 pages, but it's good to know it clocks in at 8128.

It annoys me more than it should that it's not 2^13, or 8192. It would have been a nice round number to finish on!

Thank you, and welcome!

Eridan's beliefs don't really make sense - but it makes sense that they don't. It's bigotry, after all.

He knows trolls like Kanaya, and can clearly see that there's nothing inferior about her - but he can't let go of what he's been taught, so he just doesn't address it, and continues on as normal.

This comic is damn long, so it's a fun reference to make.

I'd probably pick one. No special reason - I just sort of vibe with the number, and it's the closest to something kooky like zero, or a negative number.

I would have picked the cueball, but I don't think I want Scratch as a rival...

Ok, that's fair, actually.

I love how she's trying to 'cull' them.

It's a good bit. I wonder if this means Hussie's trollsona is a green-blood, like Kanaya?

Read it!

It's not intended to! The others all link to the post where the work was recommended to me, but Con Air wasn't recommended - it's just a movie slightly relevant to Homestuck. I have it up there for completeness, and it's underlined for consistency.

[moorheadthanyoucanhandle]

COMPLEX CHARACTERS

Opening today:

Freud's Last Session--The "session" in question is fictional, or at best nervily speculative--a meeting of the titular psychoanalytic pioneer with the Christian apologist C. S. Lewis. It's September of 1939; England has just declared war on Hitler's Germany, and Freud, who has fled Austria for England with his obsessively devoted daughter Anna, is in the agonizing homestretch of terminal mouth cancer. Irked by Lewis' parody of him in The Pilgrim's Regress (1933), Freud has invited the young Oxford don to his house in London for a civil but contentious chat.

Freud is played by Anthony Hopkins; Lewis is played by Matthew Goode. The direction is by Matthew Brown from a script he co-wrote with the American playwright Mark St. Germain, based on St. Germain's play (which I saw well-produced by Arizona Theatre Company in 2013). The play is a two-hander, but this handsomely-produced movie expands on it with scenes involving Anna (Liv Lisa Fries) and her partner Dorothy Burlingham (Jodi Balfour), flashbacks to Freud's childhood traumas and to Lewis' PTSD from the trenches in the earlier war, his eyebrow-raising cohabitation with Janie Moore (Orla Brady), etc.

But the juice in the film is still in the theatrical sparring between the two leads, especially Hopkins as the chuckling, cheerfully furious Freud. He's as lovably cantankerous here as he was as Pope Benedict in 2019's The Two Popes. For his part, Goode is smart enough not to make Lewis saintly or jolly; he gives him an edge of defensive aloofness alongside a deep decency.

It's hard to say which, if either, of the two men's viewpoints St. Germain and Brown are most in symapthy with. Many of us are likely to feel ourselves somewhere between Freud's staunch and bitter rationalism and Lewis' somehow rather half-hearted pose of orthodoxy. But the point of the film seems to be that what underlies both is, at least partly, existential terror, of a sort to which intelligent, intensely imaginative people like these two are particularly subject. Neither strict nonbelief nor strict belief seems to offer much deliverance.

Mean Girls--"It's a cautionary tale..." So the Greek chorus characters Janis and Damian sing to us at the beginning of this musical remake of the well-loved 2004 teen comedy, pared down from the 2018 Broadway version. This may be the secret of Mean Girls, in each iteration: it really is a moral tale with a cautionary point, and the heroine really does go to the dark side.

As you'll recall, Cady Heron (Angourie Rice) is a smart kid who grew up in campsites in Africa; her mother (Jenna Fischer) is a researcher. When she lands at a suburban American high school for junior year, the divisions in cafeteria clique and caste strike her as similar to those in the animal kingdom. She gets sucked into spending lunches with "The Plastics," a circle of glamorous sycophants led by uber-mean girl Regina George (Renée Rapp). Cady agrees, initially, at the urging of artsy girl Janis (Auli'i Cravalho) and big gay Damian (Jaquel Spivey) to serve as a double agent in a revenge plot against Regina. But gradually, of course, the plastic begins to take over for real. 

Or maybe the secret is just that the film, scripted, like the original, by Tina Fey (freely adapting a book by Rosalind Wiseman), is funny and sweet, but not so sweet that it forgets to be, you know, mean. Or maybe it's that most of the songs, by Nell Benjamin and Jeff Richmond, are delightful, and buoyantly staged by directors Samantha Jayne and Arturo Perez, Jr.

Overall, these actors don't have the vibrancy or distinctive personalities of the original film's cast, but they make up for this with terrific musical performing. Rapp brings such a baleful moan to "Meet the Plastics" that she really is a little scary, and Rice shades herself from guileless to conniving very believably. A few vets are around; Fey and Tim Meadows reprise their roles from the first film, and Busy Phillips and Jon Hamm contribute funny bits. The standouts, however, are Cravalho as Janis and Spivey as Damian, both equipped with gorgeous voices and the ability to act while they're belting.

Fey's generous-hearted--and sensible--take on popularity and self-esteem has provided a solid and unsentimental piece of role modeling for teens (and the teens that endure within most adults) for twenty years now. Maybe this movie will extend it for another twenty.

[rheima]

Ayo Rhemia!! I haven’t seen you around a lot, but there’s a big topic I’ve been wanting to ask but haven’t because I thought it was a weird topic to ask about, so just ignore it if it is. Or discord pm about it instead lol

I haven’t read much of team player, but I’ve been interested in the ask blog. What I’m curious about is how you’ve incorporated the themes of politics into the characters and how you’ve gotten the research as a young writer (that sounds… intense… but this is just for my own practise and fun basically.)

I ended up accidentally creating a set of ocs where I realised young adult modern politics is basically the main theme, and seeing in ur work it seems really interesting. But I don’t know much about politics other at all (than seeing tumblr posts, which is uh-not a really credible source of information), and it’s pretty scary to begin research :’)

So I thought I’d ask how you did it! If this is all too much, I’d just be curious how you came up with the idea of team players.

hihi!!! cant say that i've done much deep research SPECIFICALLY for teamplayer (other than re-checking details about luis and lily and their culture cause i dont wanna get it wrong, i keep it in mind whenever i write them) because i'm just naturally a very political person, and the way that the teamplayer characters themselves are built from experience. none of them are intended to be political mouthpieces for me! all of them are hugely on the left but they have varying inner-community opinions, and they're all very... teenaged.

a lot of the experiences of the characters are just mirrors of what i've picked up from being in both the online LGBT community and the one i knew in middle and highschool. it's a bit of a comedic parody of the whole twitter environment in 2020-2021, though the year isn't all that specific!! one of these bitches dsmp fans though lets be honest

i'm sure a lot of the topics i talk about will shift as i grow myself, and as the characters grow, but as they are right now, these are mostly 14-15 year olds only dealing with the effects of large-scale problems like climate change, lgbtphobia and poverty, and they generally respond like 14-15 year olds in those issues. they're not old enough to dig their claws in deep to the root of the problem, but they've got shit to say about it, especially because it directly hurts them. and they'll occasionally argue about it! cora and fate's cartoon argument was very funny (especially because i agree with neither of them)

fate is the biggest projection of me in terms of political opinions, but he's also the projection of the political opinions i had when i was 14, which were naive and well meaning but ultimately harmful and ignorant. i've always been deeply political, and i've just stumbled into my way into a story that tackles a LOT of topics about lgbtphobia.

also i would recommend checking out the comic if you haven't!!! im not super proud of chapter one and will probably redraw it someday but chapter 2 has been very silly so far

[makkarisbelova]

ok I got around to the cinema tonight and can now do a full review so THOR: LOVE & THUNDER SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!!

first off, let me just say: TAIKA. MOTHERFUCKING. WAITITI. this man has done so much for the Thor movies and has really brought so much richness and colour into the MCU. this movie was equal parts funny and emotional and I had such a blast watching it!!!

I’ve seen a few people say that it doesn’t feel like a cohesive movie narratively and to that I’d say I disagree completely; it’s just not as cohesive within the larger story of the MCU. Personally, I don’t think that takes away from the movie at all!! I never felt like there was something missing, it does a good job at being a very solid standalone movie. Thor as a character has always thrived in his solo movies far more than in the big plans of the MCU, I find. When he gets tossed into a group setting such as the Avengers, he ends up becoming more like the butt of the joke (hence, the offensive fat Thor bit they had in Endgame). I find here, in his solo movies, they maintain that himbo energy while also letting him have depth and be serious when necessary.

There are a few other smaller things to cover before the next big things I want to discuss, such as the POST CREDITS SCENEEEE. As a Ted Lasso super fan, seeing Brett Goldstein as Hercules a) made me scream in my seat, and b) makes SO MUCH SENSE. He’s here, he’s there, he’s every-fucking-where, and Mr. Roy Kent has a growl and bark to him that makes his energy so perfect. AMAZING CASTING!! And now that Cristo Fernandez AKA Dani Rojas was a bartender in the end credit for Spiderman NWH, the Ted Lasso -> MCU pipeline has been created and can only get stronger from here! My heart is bursting at the seams!! Also, round of applause to the screaming goats because that never failed to make me laugh. And no, I’m not just saying that because it was inspired by the Taylor Swift goat parody of I Knew You Were Trouble. And finally, I’d like to shout out Taika for making me fall back in love with Thor and Janes as a couple because this is the movie that really gave us the dynamic and love between them that the others never could. Here, they felt real and earnest and truly connected. The chemistry with Chris and Natalie was very solid and I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’m going to miss their relationship a lot!

Now let’s talk about the next big thing: the queer rep. This is where a lot of people are divided, with some saying it was super gay and some saying the representation was underwhelming and disappointing for something that was “marketed as a super gay film”. However, I’m not sure I agree with either of those statements. Was it super gay? No, not at all. There were definitely some much appreciated confirmations of queerness with more than one character I suppose, but none of it felt worthy of it being marketed as extremely gay. That being said, there is a difference between Taika and Tessa calling it super gay and it being specifically marketed as super gay. At no point in any of the interviews or promos did they promise deep and prominent queer exploration. It’s also worth noting that Disney has a lot of control over the story, so I wouldn’t be surprised if Taika had wanted to make it even gayer and the higher-ups had said no. Also keep in mind that there WAS allegedly a version of this movie where Valkyrie’s whole storyline was romantic and she had a love interest, but Tessa didn’t want love to be the center of Valkyrie’s story and wanted a different route, so they rolled with it. So overall, the movie didn’t contain as much queer content as I had anticipated, but I don’t think it was a baiting attempt or a downside to the movie in any way. We got what we got, and even though it wasn’t a gay extravaganza, what we got was very solid.

The part of this movie that shines the most though has to be Christian Bale as Gorr. Not only was he completely fucking terrifying, but he was also, at the same time somehow, a villain I could sympathize with much more than Thanos. This movie was all about love and loss and how they intertwine, and Gorr reflects that just as much as Thor does, though in their separate ways. And let’s just take a minute to appreciate the differences between Gorr and Thanos because!!! hello!!! Thanos kills his own daughter for a goal of his that is purely economic/practical (in his mind) whereas Gorr literally makes a vow to kill every single god in existence just because his god didn’t save his daughter!! That is so beautiful!! And to think that I was more scared of Gorr than I ever was of Thanos, and yet still simultaneously more moved by Gorr. And in the end, he HAS to do the right thing!! His motivations and beliefs REQUIRE it!! If he had used his wish to kill all the gods when he could have used it to bring his daughter back, he would have been willfully refusing to save her and would therefore have been a hypocrite and just like the gods themselves. This movie did a fantastic job of answering the question: what happens when a villain’s motivation is, truly and without falter, love?

Overall, when looking at the bigger picture of the MCU, this movie does not contribute much and probably isn’t the best of the best. But I think I like it better that way??? It’s a movie that shines beautifully on its own, whereas something like Dr Strange MOM (even though it also found its strength in the director’s strong stylistic tone coming through) had its faults even if you did look at it as a standalone movie, which is why this one is just so much more enjoyable. I would rate this movie a solid 8.7/10

[itspufflehuff]

Spidey Part2 - Sebastian Stan X Holland!Reader

Summary: What will happen between you and your brothers co-star after sparks fly in your first meeting at comic-con?

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | 

MATERLIST // TAGLIST

I wasn't planing on making a part two but as requested by @star-gazing-game here it is! You can read part one here and part three here. If anyone ever has a request or suggestion my messages are always open! Thank you for choosing to read my story and I hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 4,935 (wow for a story I didn't plan on making I sure got lost in it. This is twice as long as the first story!)

~~~~

Once comic con ended you and Sebastian went your separate ways, making sure to exchange numbers first. The both of you still had to do some promoting for your movies and unfortunately, they were in different parts of the country. He would stay in California for a bit while you went back to New York. That didn't stop you from keeping up with each other. He would randomly message you throughout the day and it would always bring a smile to your face.

Sebastian: Another interview with the diva 🙄. I mean does he really need someone to carry all those juice boxes for him?

You were currently sitting in your apartment getting ready to have dinner. You were still appearing on talk shows promoting your movie and your career, now that people were noticing you more it was the perfect opportunity for you to talk more about your usual work and gain more of a following. Tonight you would be on SNL performing a parody skit of Wicked.

Laughing you responded back.

Y/N: Ugh I know right! He thinks he's so much better than anyone like 'oh look at me I'm Spider-Man' 🙄 go get your juice box and let the adults handle this

Less than a minute later your phone rang again.

Sebastian: I can't believe people think he's the better Holland when it's obvious you are.

Y/N: Thank you! Finally, someone who sees how much better I am than him

You set your phone down leaving it unlocked waiting for Sebastian's next reply. Instead, your phone read 'Tommy' as a video call came through. Confused as to why he would be calling you before an interview, you moved your food aside and swiped to answer the call.

Before you got to greet him Tom spoke, "Why are you texting Sebastian?"

Although his question caught you off guard that didn't stop you from thinking of a quick response.

Faking disappointment you shook your head, "Oh Tommy, have you been snooping on people's phones again? Hasn't mum talked to you about that already? Does she need to have another chat with you?"

His face turned a tint of red as everyone behind him laughed. You heard a voice call out, "Someone please tell me you got that on camera." It was Mackie.

Someone called back to him, "We got it!" Again everyone burst into laughter. Obviously embarrassed Tom cleared his throat, "I'll call you back later." Quickly he hung up the phone.

No new messages came from Sebastian after that. You assumed it was because his interview was starting. So for the next few hours, you busied yourself getting ready for your show later. This would be your first time performing for SNL, you were so excited but also nervous. You couldn't keep still all day you had to walk around, clean, jump, even sing. Anything to keep yourself busy.

They asked you to show up two hours early to rehearse one last time before the show began. You and your scene partner went over the opening scene that would lead into the song. Once you got it down you two warmed up your voices finding the perfect harmony. Your skit was second up and just like on opening night for all your other shows you were nervous. Sure you've performed live in front of people more times than you can count but each time was as nerve-wracking as the first time.

You had thirty minutes left before you had to go out when you got a text on your phone. Looking down you saw his name and a smile came onto your face.

Sebastian: Good luck tonight you're gonna be great xx

You felt a bit more at ease knowing you had Sebastian cheering you on from the other side of the country. You put your phone down and headed backstage where everyone else was talking as they waited for their turn to go up.

~~~~

"And now for our next guest, Tom Holland!" Your partner introduced. That was your cue to run out on stage. You stood to the right of her smiling and waving to the crowd. When the cheering died down you looked to her still smiling, "Actually it's Y/N Holland."

"We didn't book you today." She said faking confusion looking down at her cue cards, "Look it says right here Tom Holland. TOM. Not Y/N."

"You must've written the wrong name down because I was definitely asked to come down tonight."

She let out a nervous laugh looking at the audience, "No we called and asked for the Spidey twin. You know the new Spidey, not Toby or Andrew."

"I am the new Spidey. I don't know if you heard but I kinda did this new movie and I voiced Spider-Gwen."

"Ok, but we asked for the dancing twin?"

"I can dance too. Maybe even better than my brother." I wink to the audience who cheered.

"Wait, wait, wait," She said to the audience, "but we asked for the more successful twin. Surely that must be Tom. I mean he is Spider-Man. THE Spider-Man. He's gotten the Empire and BAFTA awards for best newcomer and rising star."

"Um tell that to my three Tony Awards for best newcomer and Best Actress." You held one finger up for best newcomer and two for Best Actress. The audience went wild cheering and clapping for you.

"Oh no." Your scene partner said, cuing the music to What is this Feeling begin.

"There's been some confusion over casting here at SNL" you both sang

"But of course I'll promote for Spidey," you sang then in a speaking voice you quickly said, "Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse out in theaters now."

Your partner looked at you rolling her eyes, "And of course I'll rise up above it"

"For I know that's how you'd want me to respond, yes. There's been some confusion for you see, my scene-mate is," you both sang.

"Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe," you sang.

"Y/N" She deadpanned to the audience.

The both of you continued the song just as rehearsed. By the end, everyone cheered as you two marched off stage pretending not to like each other.

You stood for the rest of this show to watch the other skits they had planned out. It was so much fun, you were getting so used to being in a small room filled with the camera crew as you and the interview sat there talking. Of course, those could be fun too but this was a nice change.

At the end of the show, Tom called to tell you how amazing you did. "Watch out because I'm coming for your Tony's with some Oscars next." He threatened before hanging up. You laughed to yourself at your dorky brother. You couldn't help but notice the noise going on behind Tom throughout your phone call. He sounded like he was at a party or something. Then your phone rang again.

Sebastian: Tom has nothing on your three Tony's the only other award he'll be getting from the Oscars is biggest diva

You smiled reading his text, you were about to respond when another came through.

Sebastian: You did great tonight, I can't wait to hear you sing in person again

You felt butterflies erupt in your stomach. Of course you liked him. He was so sweet, funny, talented, and super attractive. But you two hadn't hung out since comic con or even seen each other since then. You didn't want to think too much about your relationship with him other than being friends but deep down you wanted more.

Y/N: Once I'm back on the stage I'll get you front row tickets

~~~~

Weeks had passed when you finally finished doing interviews and promos for Spider-Verse. Sebastian was finally back in New York but you two hadn't had the chance to meet up just yet. If he wasn't busy you were. Now that you had free time you decided to take advantage and take some time off of doing shows as well. Just a few more weeks then you'd go back.

That was until they called you desperate for a replacement, both the lead actress and her understudy got food poisoning and couldn't go on stage.  They needed a new Eurydice and you knew the part. You played it once before and you did amazing. Not wanting to let anyone down you agreed to cover, you were also really excited to revisit Hadestown. You loved playing Eurydice the first time so when the chance came to play her again you took it.

You immediately texted your brother excited sharing the good news. You wanted to text Sebastian but you knew he was in the middle of an interview so instead you waited for him to let you know when it was over.

His interview went on longer than expected. By the time it was over you were already down at the theater for a mic check and to get your costume fitted. When Sebastian texted you back your phone was hidden in your purse which then happened to be buried under a pile of everyone else belongings. After an hour passed he wondered why you didn't respond. Usually, you'll respond within a few minutes or before the hours passed. He didn't want to bug and keep texting so he waited for you to respond. He walked around his apartment trying to keep himself busy until he heard his phone buzz. Quickly he ran to his phone only to see it was a text from Mackie. Disappointed but not wanting to be rude he opened it up. It was a screenshot of some news article followed by the words, "This your girl?"

He opened up the photo and read to himself in a low whisper, "Actress Y/N Holland to star in Hadestown for one night only" he read further then jumped to his feet running into his room.

She's performing tonight? Why didn't she tell me?

It was already 6:30 and the show is scheduled for 8:00. That night was the fastest he ever got ready for anything. He showered, got dressed, combed his hair, and jumped in his car all within twenty minutes but he didn't care. He was going to see you tonight.

~~~~

On his way to the theater, he passed a man and woman selling flowers on the side of the street. Quickly he pulled over running over to them. They had a variety of flowers ready to be made into bouquets, the only problem was he wasn't sure which ones to get. He had never asked before what your favorite flowers were and he was not about to ask your brother so he did the next best thing, he googled it.

~~~~

At the end of the show, you were full of adrenaline. The crowd cheered as they stood for you and the cast. You had worked with some of the ensemble cast before on other shows so they came up to give you hugs before you all bowed and the curtain dropped.

You almost forgot how amazing and fun it was to be on stage. You walked back to your dressing room ready to change back into your clothes and go home. Your bag was thrown in the corner forgotten about but the moment you sat down a thought came into your head.

I haven't texted Sebastian back all day.

You ran to your bag digging through it to find your phone. It seemed to be lost somewhere in there and you were losing patience so you flipped your purse over dropping everything onto the floor. Finally finding your phone you walked over to your chair, opened up your messages, and went to Sebastian's name.

Y/N: Hey I sorta got busy... I'll tell you more about it when you've got time

You sighed slouching down in your chair, closing your eyes, and throwing your head back. You knew he was very understanding and wouldn't be upset with you for leaving him without saying a word but still, you felt bad. A few minutes passed when you heard knocking on your door. You sat back up before calling out, "Come in."

"I have time now if you want to talk." You heard a husky voice say from your door. You turned in shock seeing Sebastian standing there in a casual blue suit with flowers in his hand. You got up from your seat and started walking over to him as he walked closer to you, "Sebastian what're you doing here?"

"Well, when I heard you would be performing tonight I couldn't miss this show. I also got you these so I couldn't let you leave without them."

"Thank you, they're beautiful. How did you know these were my favorite?" You asked jokingly. You honestly thought it was just a coincidence that the flowers he got were your favorites.

He rubbed the back of his neck as a blush rose onto his cheeks, "I may have googled what your favorite flowers are."

You couldn't help but laugh, "I'm sorry I didn't mean for that to come out. It's just- you googled me?"

"Yes, I googled you!" He was laughing now too.

"I can't believe you googled me." You were smiling at him now. He was so much taller without your heels on. You took a step back, crossing your arms feeling a bit insecure.

"Well, I was hoping I could take you out tonight. Finally, get to hang out again now that we're here together."

"Yeah, of course, let me get changed really quickly then we can do."

He nodded walking out of the room allowing you to dress in peace. You ran around grabbing your clothes and throwing everything back into your purse. It wasn't too long until you opened the door with your purse and flowers in hand, "So what did you have in mind?"

"I was thinking maybe we can go back to my apartment. I'm sure you're tired and well were not exactly dressed for the same event." He looked down at your sweatpants and t-shirt.

"Yeah, maybe you're right."

~~~~

You followed behind him in your car to his house. You were slightly nervous since this would be the first time you both properly hang out together, alone, and in his house.

When you both got there he met you at your car opening the door for you and offering his hand, "My lady." You giggled at his antics but still took his hand, "Thank you, kind sir." He walked you up to his apartment while your arm was wrapped around his.

Once you were both in his apartment he looked down at his attire, "I am going to change real quick. While I'm gone feel free to make yourself at home. If you need to use the bathroom it's just through that door right there." He walked off to his room leaving you there alone. You put your bag down on the couch taking your phone out to see a text from Tom.

Tommy: How was your show? I'm sure you did great as always! That's how we Hollands do like to do it anyway

Y/N: The show was amazing! I had so much fun I missed performing but I'm still taking a few weeks off before I jump back into it again

You got another text when Sebastian came out of his room now wearing sweatpants of his own and a band shirt. "I don't have anything w can really eat right now so we can order food if you're hungry?"

"That sounds great. I'm fine with eating anything, honestly."

"Awesome, I know this great Chinese restaurant not too far from here we can order from."

You two spent the rest of the night eating and talking. You started off just sitting on his couch but as the night went on you got more comfortable switching positions. You would lay with your back on the arm of the couch, your legs dangling over the arm of the couch, then you moved so your head was hanging over the edge of the couch until you both somehow ended up laying on the floor talking.

Sebastian's head was right next to yours but your bodies were going opposite of each other. He grabbed some pillows from the couch keeping one for himself and giving you the other.

"What happened to you giving me front row seats once you were back on stage, huh?" Sebastian joked.

You propped your arm up on the pillow and rested your head on your hand facing him, "I wasn't planning on going back so soon. They needed me and I couldn't let them down! Plus you were in the middle of something I couldn't interrupt."

He did the same as you resting his head on his arm turning to you, "Excuses, excuses. You could've left a message or something! I would've dropped whatever I was doing just to see you."

You blushed looking away from him but he put a hand on your cheek turning your head back to him. His hand lingered as his thumb drew circles on your cheek, "Have I told you I love hearing you sing?"

"Maybe once or twice." You answered nervously.

"Well, then I'll just keep telling you." You looked into each other's eyes while his hand was still resting on your cheek. You thought for sure he would lean in for a kiss but he didn't. Instead, he cleared his throat and moved his hand. He looked up at the time before letting out a whoa, "It's already two in the morning! You should really get home and get some rest."

You were a bit confused. It felt like you two were having a moment and now he's rushing you home? Sure he makes a good point it is getting late and you're tired but what the hell?

"I suppose you're right." You laid back down on the floor not wanting to get up but Sebastian was standing next to you holding his hand out for you to take. He lifted you off the floor, "Come on I'll walk you to your car."

The walk to your car was quiet, neither of you really knew what to say. When it was time to go he gave you a hug which lingered. You were grateful it did. You didn't want to let him go he smelled like old spice and his body felt warm pressed up against yours. His head rested on top of yours as he rubbed your back with one hand. "Let me know when you're home, ok?" He pulled away holding onto your shoulders until you nodded.

~~~~

Sebastian laid awake in bed waiting to know you were home safe. He could've kissed you tonight. He wanted to kiss you but the gentleman in him wouldn't allow it. From the moment you two met he knew he wanted to take you out but you being Tom's sister he didn't want to do it behind his back either.

In the morning he set his plan into motion. The first call he made was to Tom.

It didn't take long for him to answer, "Hey mate, what's up?"

Sebastian felt nervous. What if Tom said no? What if this ruined their friendship, but he had to try. "Hey, Tom I was just calling to ask something."

"Shot."

"Well, I was hoping it would be alright if I take Y/N out on a date tonight?" He let out slowly. His palms were sweating and his heart was beating fast.

"What?" Tom didn't know what to say. Of course he thought Sebastian was a really great guy but you were his little sister. Did he really want to let you go out with him?

"I would like to take Y/N out on a date, but with your permission of course. I know how close you two are and I don't want you to feel like we're sneaking around behind your back. If you say no I totally understand and I'll keep everything as just friends."

If he were being honest Tom was impressed with the way Sebastian came to him before asking you out. He thought it was nice of his friend to come clean to him instead of asking you out without letting him know, which was something that happened before. "You know what man? Go for it."

"Are you serious?" Sebastian was stunned.

"Yeah! I know we joke around a lot about you and Mackie not liking me but you really are a great friend. Plus I saw how well you two got along during Comic-Con. I know you'll do what's right and make her happy."

Sebastian was over the moon happy. As soon as he hung up the phone his second call was to you.

~~~~

"Tonight at 5:00? That sounds great!"

"Ok, I'll pick you up then." As soon as he hung up the phone you shouted into your pillow with excitement. You knew you had a moment together last night! You just thought maybe it was your crush clouding your judgment but now you two have a date for tonight!

You jumped off your bed and went straight into your closet.

What am I going to wear tonight?

You rummaged through your wardrobe for an hour trying everything on. He said you would be going out to dinner then he would take you out for a movie. Cliche but you didn't care, you were going out with Sebastian Stan! After another two hours retrying everything on and pairing them with shoes. He mentioned the restaurant you would be outdoors so with that information you settled on wearing a maroon corduroy dress with a white long sleeve underneath and some black tights underneath. As for the shoes you went with black boots that had a heel to them.

It felt like time slowed down as if it knew how excited you were for your date. At 3:30 you started getting ready, first taking a shower then quickly putting on your outfit and shoes. Seeing as how you always had to wear so much makeup on stage you hardly liked to wear any off. You only put on a bit of concealer to hide the bags under your eyes, some eye shadow, and lipstick. Once you were satisfied with your look you started on your hair. Not wanting to do too much to it you lightly curled it and pinned it to the sides. As soon as you finished getting ready you heard a buzz coming from your intercom, "Hi Miss. Holland there is a Mr. Sebastian Stan here for ya."

Excited you hurried across the room to buzz back, "Let him up. Thank you, Jerry!" Within minutes you heard a knock on your door. You had set your purse next to the door earlier so you wouldn't have to worry about grabbing it o your way out. When you opened the door you were met with a shy-looking Sebastian once again wearing a casual suit although this time it was a plaid grey. He had one single flower in his hand and a dopey grin on his face.

"Hi, you look beautiful. Well, you always look beautiful but I never mention it so I am now."

You laughed at his stammering, "Thank you, you don't look too bad yourself. I mean you never look bad but I never mention it so I am now." You said coolly mocking him.

He noticed this and laughed looking down, "Thank you. I- umm- I brought you this. Just another one to add to your bouquet." He handed you another flower, the same as the ones from last night. You took it from him happily, "You're so sweet. I'll add it to the bunch right now." You began walking back into your apartment until you realized you were leaving Sebastian standing outside of your apartment door. You turned back around opening the door up for him, "Please come in while I put this away." So he did. He stepped into your apartment but remained by the door. He looked around at the setup and decor. "Wow, you really weren't kidding about those three Tony awards were you?" He asked impressed. You turned back with a chuckle, "I don't have to lie to sound cooler than my brother." "You got that right." He mumbled to himself with a smile.

~~~~

The restaurant he chose was on a rooftop overlooking the city. The view was beautiful and even though there was a rough over your heads it was clear allowing you to see the sky above and the sides were left open so a breeze could pass through. There were strings of light running through the top to illuminate the tables as well as a small jar filled with fairy lights.

Dinner went by smoothly. As you ate you both talked about your lives and the places you've been.

"Greece is amazing! It's my favorite place to go when I need to get away for a while." Sebastian gushed.

"You've been to Greece?! Oh my, I've always wanted to visit but haven't had the chance to go yet."

"You haven't been to Greece?!" He looked at you like you just kicked his puppy. "Well, I will just have to take you someday then." He took a sip of his drink and wiggled his eyebrows at you.

"You said it so you have to take me now!"

"I will." He said with both seriousness and playfulness.

"Promise?" You raised an eyebrow as you held your pinky out.

He rolled his eyes but chuckled taking your pinky with his, "Promise."

~~~~

After dinner, he drove you across the river into Brooklyn. You looked to him confused, "I thought we were just watching a movie?"

He smiled keeping his eyes on the road, "We are."

"Then we do we have to go to Brooklyn?"

"You'll see."

Once you saw it your jaw dropped. The car made sense now. Instead of his Tesla from the other night, he was now driving an SUV. You were confused when you saw it at first but didn't think much into it. Now he was driving you into the Skyline Theater and you understood why he brought his SUV.

"It's a drive-in theater?"

"Yup, check the back seats."

Behind you were blankets, pillows, and snacks that you for some reason didn't see before. He pulled into a parking space with the back of the car facing the big screen, "Wait here." He got out of the car, opened up the back, and started putting the back seats down. Carefully he laid the blankets and pillows for you two. Once he finished he looked up to you, "Now for some popcorn, Ill be right back. Want anything to drink?"

"Just water and a bottle of soda."

"Got it." He flashed you a charming smile before closing the back and walking off.  You sat there smiling to yourself like an idiot. You haven't felt this happy in so long, it was a different type of happiness. He came back quicker than you expected with drinks and a big tub of popcorn. Seeing as he still had the keys he opened the back once again to lay out the snacks. "Come on." He nodded his head over motioning for you to join him.

You sat in the back letting your legs dangle over the side of the car, "So what movie are we seeing tonight?"

"Honestly I don't even know" He laughed looking at you.

"You don't know?" You laughed along.

"Uh-uh. It could be a kid's movie, an adult movie, or it could even be one of my movies. I don't know. I just thought it would be romantic to bring you out here for a movie."

"That is sweet but also unbelievable." You laughed but hoped the movie would be something appropriate. Luckily once the movie began it turned out to be Just Go With It.

Sebastian pushed himself back allowing him to lay down, before he did though he took his shoes off and tossed them to the front. You followed along. As the movie went on you two slowly inched closer to each other. First, it started out with him putting his hand on top of yours then he slowly put his arms around your shoulder. You leaned into him resting your head on his chest. Although neither of you could see each other's faces you both smiled at the close contact. You would feed each other snacks and when he tried tossing popcorn into his mouth and failed you both had a contest to see who could do it first, of course, you won.

By the end of the night, Sebastian took you back to your apartment walking you to your door. With your door open you leaned on the frame and looked over to him, "I had a great night Sebastian, thank you." You placed a soft kiss on his cheek before turning to walk into your apartment. He grabbed your hand before you could go. You turned to face him slightly tilting your head you scrunched your eyebrows. He walked closer to you grabbing both sides of your face, "Can I kiss you?" Unable to speak you nodded your head. You felt like your stomach was in your throat.

He leaned down closer to your face, slowly closed his eyes, and placed a soft kiss on your lips. You thought your legs would turn to jelly but luckily they stood strong. You kissed him back wishing it would never have to end.

[ace-trainer-risu]

what are your fave diana wynne jones books that aren’t howl’s moving castle??

Oh whattt a lovely and fun question which I was definitely not secretly hoping someone would ask!!!! Yay!!

Hm okay so, not specifically in order, probably my top fave Diana Wynne Jones books would be:

Deep Secret! Deep Secret is not just one of my favorite books by DWJ but one of my favorite books full stop! It’s so good. Basically, the premise is that there is an infinite series of interconnected worlds, some of which have magic and some of which don’t, at the center of which is a vast interdimensional magical empire. Magic in the multiverse is overseen by an organization of magicians called Magids and there must always be a specific number of Magids in existence. When Rupert, a young Magid living on Earth, discovers that his mentor has died (ish) he becomes unexpectedly responsible for finding and training the next Magid, which is extremely inconvenient timing for him because the aforementioned magical empire is on the brink of civil war and chaos and its his job to stop it. And also almost all of this takes place at...a science fiction convention. It’s amazing.  I have read this book minimum four (probably more) times and every time it’s absolutely delightful and hilarious. I would like to go to the sci fi convention in this novel more than anything. It’s such a good read and its one of her few novels which is specifically aimed at adults, so I would EXTREMELY recommend it. Plus the romance in it is extremely good...not exactly enemy-to-lovers but more like ‘annoys-the-shit-out-of-each-other’ to lovers.  (**One note about this one...there’s a few very briefly mentioned side characters who are gender noncomforming and even tho they are actually portrayed very positively, it’s not necessarily ideal and 100% respectful (basically the protags comment on them being very beautiful and nice but also keep trying to guess their “real” gender). Additionally there’s a different briefly mentioned side character who is fat who isn’t portrayed very nicely. Both of these are brief incidents, just wanted to provide a warning for them)

Dark Lord of Derkholm - Okay this one is weirdly hard to summarize but it’s about this magical fantasy world which has been taken overy and is being used as a tourist destination by a non-magical world (heavily implied to be Earth) for people who want to role play at being in a classic high fantasy story, including fighting and killing THE DARK LORD...who is really just a random magician pretending to be evil. The inhabitants of the fantasy world do not enjoy this and are trying desperately to stop the tours, but unfortunately according to a magical oracle, their best hope of stopping the tours is this year’s Dark Lord, a hapless farmer magician named Derk, and his, um, eccentric family consisting of his glamorous wife, seven children (of whom five are griffins and one is a bard) and a simply improbable amount of magical animals. And also there is a very good dragon.  I think Derkholm is so great as a novel b/c it’s a very funny, loving but sharp, parody of high fantasy stories...but a lot of the time parodies only function as parodies but not as good stories in their own right, you know? But this novel completely functions as a story too, and in fact the first time I read at maybe age nine or ten, the high fantasy parody went completely over my head...but I still loved it. I also really love that this novel is very accessible to all ages, I think I enjoy reading it as an adult just as much as I did as a kid, which is rare.  For anyone who has read Howl’s Moving Castle but nothing else by DWJ and isn’t sure where to start, I think this is a great place to start. (TW: There’s a brief, non-explicit scene which has implied sexual assault.) 

Fire and Hemlock - This may be the most controversial one since it features a romance with a significant age gap where the two characters meet when one is a child and the other an adult. And I fully agree that that’s :/ and normally that trope is NOT my thing but it doesn’t come off at all creepy in this story imo, and if you think you can deal with that then this is a very weird, atmospheric, cool book about storytelling and fairy tales and growing up. The short summary (this is another hard to summarize one) is that as a child, Polly encounters and strikes up a friendship and correspondence with a young man, Tom, which mainly consists of the two of them jointly making up a silly, ongoing fairy tale type story...but things get weird when parts of their story start to come true in real life.  I’ve only read this one twice but it really stuck with me and in fact just describing it here...really makes me want to read it again!

The Chrestomanci Series - So all of the above are either specifically aimed at adults or a general audience whereas the Chrestomanci series is aimed at children, mainly a middle grade type audience. And tbh I started reading them as a kid (fond memory - I bought an omnibus of the first two with my allowance money...b/c it had a cat on the cover!) so I don’t know what it would be like to first read these as an older teen or an adult. BUT. Honestly they are really good and would be a quick read so I do still recommend them. There’s seven overall, with th seventh being a collection of short stories, and they’re only semi-chronological so the reading order isn’t vital. My recommended order (b/c this the order I read them in, haha) is Charmed Life, The Lives of Christopher Chant, The Magicians of Caprona, Witch Week, The Pinhoe Egg, Conrad’s Fate, and then Mixed Magic you can read whenever you want so long as you read it after Charmed Life and The Magicians of Caprona.  So the very core premise of it is not dissimilar to Deep Secret - there’s an infinite series of worlds/universes and there’s a magician, called the Crestomanci in this case, who is responsible for making sure magic isn’t abused across the multiverse. The Chrestomanci is an extremely powerful enchanter who has nine lives, and the novels are various semi-connected stories about the adventures of Chrestomanci as an adult and child. Chrestomanci is a title so it’s not always the same person, but for the majority of the stories it is the same guy and he’s...the best/worst...He’s this extremely handsome, charismatic, powerful enchanter who is very good at his job, loves his wife a lot, wears very beautiful clothes and makes, um, questionable life choices and is very annoying to everyone. I’ve thought about this very hard and I believe that he’s what happens when you take a fundamentally chaotic good person and make him do a fundamentally lawful good job; yes, he’s going to do it and do it well, but he is going to do it in the most chaotic, ridiculous way possible, and he IS going to die at an ALARMING rate, doing things that would not normally kill a person, such as playing cricket and trying to catch stray cats. He also, as previously mentioned, frequently wears very dramatic silk dressing gowns with elaborate embroidery, which the protag of Charmed Life finds deeply alarming.  It’s very odd to me how these books don’t seem to be well known, because the Chrestomanci books were some of my absolute favorite books as a child. I still have my omnibus editions of the first four novels and they are very worn and very beloved. And it’s so WILD to me that I don’t think I have ever talked to someone who also read those as a kid! Like I’m not saying those people don’t exist, I’m sure I just haven’t met them, but that’s so weiiirddddd to me. If I bring up Tamora Pierce or Garth Nix or other authors of weird, eccentric children’s fantasy novels to other avid childhood consumers of fantasy, people usually know what I mean, but Chrestomanci and its just..crickets. Is it b/c she’s British? Anyway all of the Chrestomanci books are very degrees of good, but if I had to pick a favorite, I think, controversial choice here, it would be Conrad’s Fate. Particularly in terms of recommendations to others, Conrad’s Fate works as a standalone and, unlike the other books in the series, it’s aimed more at a YA audience, so if you wanted to read a Chrestomanci novel without getting into the whole series, that’s a good way to go. It’s about a boy, Conrad, who is told that he has a terrible, possibly fatal Fate awaiting him unless he goes to work as a servant at a wealthy, and weird, estate neighboring his town, at which place he encounters things including color changing livery, an extremely annoying teenage Chrestomanci, and the greatest liminal space house EVER. It’s like a combination of an upstairs/downstairs Downton Abbey type social drama with bizarre fantasy shenanigans. How could that not be good??

Also as Honorable Mentions - A Sudden and Wild Magic and The Time of the Ghost. A Sudden and Wild Magic is fun b/c it’s one of her few works aimed specifically at adults and it’s (gasp) a little bit NAUGHTY which I was very surprised and delighted by when I read it. (This may seem like an unfair statement considering that Deep Secret fully has an orgy in it, but Rupert is so fundamentally unnaughty of a character that he completely unnaughtifies the whole novel, whereas Sudden and Wild Magic embraces being a (little bit) naughty.)   The Time of the Ghost on the other hand is weird and haunting and creepy and atmospheric. I only read it once but it’s one of those novels you just think about periodically and go “wait what the fuck that was a weird novel” (Also known as the “Garth Nix” effect) 

[melatovnik]

i wanted to make this quick wangxian fic rec post just so they don’t get lost. i asked for cute/funny fics and @manhasetardis​​ delivered. thanks teresa! ❤

housed by your warmth by scifi | rated E | 2K words

wei wuxian may never grow to enjoy mornings but he enjoys this, he really enjoys this – stolen time together, bodies reuniting, waking up before the world.

rainy season by scifi | rated T | 3K words

even rabbits deserve to stay dry (in which lan zhan brings all the rabbits to the jingshi during a summer storm and wei ying is pleasantly surprised)

The Thing Is by sunlightrefrain | rated T | 8K words

“What the fuck, dude.” Jin Zixun sounds mad. Oh, he sounds very mad. “Are you out of your fucking mind? I’ll get you fucking expelled.”

Lan Zhan, who doesn’t give even an ounce of a shit, only grits out, “Please, by all means.” Which, for Lan Zhan, is more or less the verbal equivalent of a fuck you and your ancestral home too. Wei Ying blanches.

Or; Wei Ying meets Lan Zhan when he’s seven. Nearly two decades later, Lan Zhan punches Jin Zixun.

Far Away You Are by cqlorphan | rated E | 17K words

Suddenly, it snaps into place. The weary way Lan Zhan has been holding himself is suddenly cast in a new, much more distressing light. Somebody is responsible for it, a real live, horrible, blind, stupid person. The combination of guilt, sadness, and anger that sets in all at once is hard to contain. Lingering wisps of resentment that remain from the night-hunt flock to him, like calling to like.

All four boys stare at him with wide eyes.

“Wei-qianbei,” Sizhui says. “You look...um…”

“Scary,” Zizhen breathes, beaming.

“Who has rejected Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian asks.

Or; during one of his visits to the Cloud Recesses, the juniors strike a blow to Wei Wuxian's certainty that his feelings for Lan Wangji are one-sided.

Swipe Right by Bowandtie | rated T | 30K words

How not to use Chinese Tinder, a cautionary tale. (Or not, if you're looking at the end result.)

WWX made his life's mission to be matched with every weird people with hilariously bad profile pic on Tantan.

thoroughly in earnest by stiltonbasket | rated G | 3K words

The first time someone addresses him as something other than "Honored Master Wei" during an assembly, Wei Wuxian barely registers it.

He's never been one for titles, after all.

Ten years after his wedding, Wei Wuxian ascends as Chief Cultivator.

Somehow, he's the last one to know about it.

the And They Were Married And Had a Son series by yellowcarnations | rated G | 9K words total

Xiu Mei can see the gobsmacked faces of her classmates on the screen, some of them even have their mouth hanging open comically. She doesn't doubt that she is in a similar state herself.

Not only is Professor Lan is apparently married, he's married to Professor Wei, and they also have a kid together. Literally no one could've seen that coming.

neck deep with no way out by ericacea & SugarMilkTea | rated T | 29K words

There's a hickey on Lan Zhan's neck, and Wei Ying didn't put it there. Wei Ying's Plan For Gaining Lan Zhan's Affections™️ had not accounted for this. He sets out to discover who exactly has had their mouth on his friend's neck—and figure out how to get his plan back on track.

Friendly Fields, Open Roads by queensmooting | not rated | 12K words

She smiles. She scrunches up her nose. She sneezes a monstrous cloud of dark smoke in Wei Wuxian's face.

"Lan Zhan," he says lightly. "I think something's wrong with your baby."

Nothing But Trouble by brooklinegirl | rated E | 60K words

"I don't want to really date anyone. It's so stupid, I just need to pretend date someone until Jiang Cheng gets his act together, then go back to my own life." He stares at his empty coffee cup.

"Date me," Lan Zhan says. Then he looks at Wei Ying's empty cup. "Would you like another cup of coffee?"

"Always," Wei Ying says automatically. "But wait, what."

"I'll get you another cup." Lan Zhan rises smoothly from the table.

"No, wait, hang on." Wei Ying grabs his wrist before he can take the cup and Lan Zhan freezes up, staring down at where Wei Ying is hanging on to him. "Fuck, sorry, I'll—" Wei Ying hastily lets go of his wrist. "Sorry, I—what did you mean?"

"I can pretend to date you," Lan Zhan says. "You take it with cream and sugar, correct?"

like, comment, share & subscribe by detectorist | rated T | 22K words

“Come on, A-Cheng!” Wei Ying says. “Think of all the hapless youths who are watching hanguang_jun’s channel and being duped into thinking that’s what university is like! It’s not fair on the kids!”

Jiang Cheng appears to be entirely unmoved by this highly logical argument.

—

Lan Zhan runs a popular studytuber YouTube channel. Wei Ying decides to parody his videos. Things escalate from there.

play your love songs all night long by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf & tardigradeschool | rated E | 2K words

Look, sometimes you meet a guy in college and become best friends. Sometimes the two of you spend a day babysitting objectively the best baby on earth, and that baby needs parents. Sometimes you get married to the guy (platonically!) and spend thirteen years raising the best baby on earth into the best teenager on earth. Also you share a bed. Also you're in love with him.

Wei Ying is pretty sure all that is normal. Lan Zhan agrees. Sizhui is... dubious.

like blue flame over my fingertips by tangerinechar | rated T | 37K words

Lan Wangji’s roommate is brash, noisy, messy, annoying, and — absolutely terrible at feeding himself properly.

(Or: food as a metaphor for love, featuring Lan Wangji’s A++ cooking skills, five times Lan Wangji cooked for Wei Wuxian, and one time Wei Wuxian reciprocated.)

and bonus fic rec from @themanfromnantucket​ (thank you! ^^):

Just say yes by edenwolfie | rated T | 10K words

Lan Qiren had never had a student he couldn’t improve, and Wei Wuxian would not be the exception, especially not now that his nephew was in love with the troublemaker. He would not allow history to repeat itself.

plus one more fic rec from me since i read this recently and loved it:

and there was only one tent by detectorist | rated E | 21K words

Lan Zhan gets into the front and Wei Ying hands him a paddle before getting in the back. The canoe rocks a little as they settle themselves.

“Comfortable?” Wei Ying says. Lan Zhan looks over his shoulder and nods. Wei Ying decides, abruptly, that this is probably the one of the best views he’s ever going to get in his life: Lan Zhan in the front of the canoe, wearing his baby blue baseball cap, bathed in sunlight, with the sparkling expanse of water all around them and the lush sugar maples in the background.

—

Wei Ying and Lan Zhan go camping.

[housewarningparty]

31 the I cant keep kissing strangers one for jack/Miranda. U know, if u want to

I’m gonna cheat bc I remembered the prompt wrong and already wrote half of it in my head while I was showering, so

-

It’s years of experience, it’s meticulous and brutally honed control of her body, it’s her genetic predisposition to deceit and manipulation that keeps Miranda from reacting when her the alert pings, a brief series of flashes on the corner of her ocular overlay. S.O.S.

Dupont’s hand is on her thigh, just under the material of her dress, grip damp and too tight. He’s leaning in close, under the auspice of speaking into her ear in the crowded club, but she recognizes the clumsy excuse to peek down her dress for what it is. It takes every ounce of restraint not to shove him bodily away and rush straight for the rendezvous waypoint blinking on her display -- a maintenance closet beneath a stairwell at the back of the club. There’s a thrum of panic in Miranda’s chest that she squashes with a deep, subtle breath and a careful flick of her hair. She drags a teasing finger down Dupont’s chest as she leans back.

“Excuse me a moment,” she pitches her voice low, breathy, the way she knows he must be imagining it sounds in bed. She shoots him a smoldering look over her shoulder before she leaves, adding a bit of whine to her words. Desperate women are, to men like this, honey to flies. “Don’t go where I can’t find you.”

She’s careful as she slips into the crowd, gait controlled, face expertly molded into an expression annoyed enough to ward off potential interruption from men, yet still bland enough to fail to catch the interest of anyone watching.

It’s torture, keeping her pace unhurried as scenario after gruesome scenario of what could have gone wrong plays out in vivid detail. Jack wounded, bleeding out among the bleach bottles and filthy mops. A Cerberus trap, Jack captured, bait to lure her to the same fate. Dozens upon dozens of equally vivid, equally terrible possibilities conjured with each leisurely step, all laying the same accusation at her feet: Miranda’s mistake, with Jack paying the price.

Jack hadn’t been Miranda’s first choice.

Miranda’s list of trusted contacts is smaller than it’s ever been and shrinking by the day. Trusted and available? Smaller still.

She had wanted Shepard. Or, better yet, Kasumi. But Shepard was wrapped up on some affair on Tuchanka and Kasumi was running a different op for the Shadow Broker, out on the edges of the Terminus.

Jack had been an indulgence - and one that was proving to be foolish and selfish.

She was humanity’s strongest biotic and one of the most capable operators Miranda had ever known, but her strength lied in frontal assaults. Massive destruction, flamboyant, devastating attacks with lots of collateral damage. Not delicate infiltration missions like this.

She should have been safe with her students on Grissom Station, not here dying for Miranda’s cause, not--

--Grabbing Miranda roughly by the hips, slamming her back against the shelving unit along the wall hard enough to rattle the metal, laying the flat of her arm across Miranda’s chest, just under her neck, to pin her there.

“What do you think you’re doing?“ Miranda hisses. She can’t see any obvious injuries or damage to Jack in the dim light of the closet, not held in place like this. When she raises her hands to pat down Jack’s body there’s a flair of shimmering blue light in the air, and then the always disconcerting staticky sensation of stasis fields pinning them in place at her sides.

“What am I doing?” Jack huffs, fists still bunched in the material of Miranda’s dress. A shame - it had been nice. Expensive. She can feel the material ripping under the strain of Jack’s grip and despite everything, she finds it distantly erotic. “What the fuck are you doing?”

Miranda, for all of her considerable intellect, feels like she is at least three steps behind a conversation she doesn’t remember starting. She shakes her head, twisting as much as she can with her hands pinned. “Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m not fucking hurt,” Jack snaps, hips jolting forward to slam into Miranda’s rattling the shelf again. This time she hears the fabric of the dress rip in Jack’s hands, can’t contain the shiver it sends down her spine that Jack absolutely notices. “I’m fed up. I can’t keep watching you kiss strangers.”

Jealousy? Miranda doesn’t bother trying to hide her laugh. “If you’ll remember, my kissing a stranger was a key part of the plan you agreed to. I was supposed to be doing that while you were--”

“Keep him busy,” Jack growls, “You were supposed to keep him busy while I did all the hard work. You never told me your plan to distract the guy was to let him put his big stupid gorilla hands all over your--”

“Someone was taking their time ‘doing all the hard work,’“ Miranda sneers back. “I had to improvise. He was losing interest.”

“Hey, it’s your stupid hack module that wasn’t working,” Jack accuses.

Of course, at that exact moment, Miranda’s display pings again. The tracker she’d slipped into Dupont’s jacket shows him leaving the bar, headed for the elevator to his suite.

“Jack, let me go,” Miranda says quietly, urgently, and to her credit Jack does so immediately without arguing. “He’s on the move. I can try to head him off in the lobby, but-- Look, this is very important. Did you leave any evidence you were tampering with the safe or anything else in his room?”

“Uh, yeah,” Jack snorts. “I think he’s gonna notice his top secret Cerberus Reaper hacking plans are missing.”

“But you said the module--”

“Yeah, total crap. Useless. I just blasted the ever-loving shit out of the safe.”

“Jack.”

“Anyway, if he’s on the way up there he’s gonna notice uh. Pretty much right away. We should get out of here.”

“We should have been gone the moment you compromised the plan,” Miranda hisses, following Jack out of the closet, wincing at the sudden too-bright light of the hallway.

“Nag, nag, nag,” Jack drawls, throwing open the emergency exit door to the alley behind the hotel with a truly unnecessary flair of biotics.

“We went over the codes before we even got here,” Miranda reminds her. In the back of her mind, she’s counting down the seconds they have before Dupont realizes he’s been robbed, before he puts together she was involved, before he decides to come after them for the data (bad) or alert Cerberus to what happened (worse). She figures in how long it would take to stop running and strangle Jack in one of these dank Illium alleyways and realizes, regrettably, she can’t afford the slowdown. “There’s one for emergency exit, one for mission compromised, one for package acquired. Any of those would have done. S.O.S. is emergency only.”

“Well, it was an emergency, okay?” Jack says, stopping short at the curb while Miranda calls forth the skycar she’d arranged with a flick of her omin-tool.

“How so?” Miranda demands, shoving Jack into the back of the skycar first and clambering in gracelessly after her, ruined dress gaping open in the front. “This is coming out of your pay, by the way.”

“It was a pre-emergency--”

“That’s not a thing.”

“If his hand got any higher up your skirt I was gonna blow both of our covers by ripping his arms off in the middle of the bar.”

Miranda should still be mad -- furious -- that Jack had scared her so badly. Should be angry for the terribly botched mission as well, the absolute flouting of her discreet and effective plan.

But they’ve lived. Another day in a galaxy torn apart by war on multiple fronts, another day outmaneuvering the Illusive Man himself, another day Miranda gets to find herself in the company of this beautiful, blunt, maddening, impossible woman.

And they had gotten the data, despite everything. A success, however unconventional.

And if all she has to show for it is another burned identity and a ruined dress, Miranda finds she doesn’t mind as much as she might have in any other circumstance besides this -- in the backseat of a skycar with Jack, genuinely irritated to have seen someone else touching Miranda, a torn dress, the thrum of adrenaline still rushing through her veins.

“Never figured you for the jealous type, Jack,” Miranda says, relenting, twisting in the seat to pin Jack with a simmering look.

“Yeah, you did,” Jack mutters. “Were probably counting on it when you asked me to do this thing with you. Probably got off on it. Control freak.”

“Why would I do something like that?”

“Probably has something to do with you being an arrogant psycho that’s obsessed with keeping me under your thumb.”

Miranda pauses in the dark of the backseat and stares Jack down. She’s tense, pupils blown wide, breath coming in gradually quickening gasps.

Miranda has seen Jack scared and angry and hurt before. She’s seen her wound up tight on adrenaline, turned on to the point of recklessness too. Knows well enough the difference between the two to recognize this for what it is.

It’s that confidence that draws Miranda across the space between them, shrugging the straps of her dress down her shoulders in a movement that allows her to reach the zipper in the back and slide it down immediately after. Jack doesn’t move to stop her when Miranda drops a hand to Jack’s thigh, a more elegant parody of Dupont’s boorish groping earlier. The higher Miranda’s hand ventures, the further open Jack spreads her legs, nostrils flaring as Miranda leans in close, whispering into her ear at the same time as her hand slips past the waistband of Jack’s pants, to the soaked front of her underwear.

“Funny, Jack,” Miranda says, mockingly, stroking her slowly. She’ll draw this one out, as a lesson. “Under my thumb seems to be exactly the place you’re always so desperate to be.”

“Fuck,” Jack groans, a low hiss of air from between her clenched teeth.

Miranda grins in the dark. She’d been wrong, before. Jack had definitely been the right pick for this mission.

-

enjoy my work? wanna leave a tip?

ko-fi / cashapp

[liketheinferno2]

butcherofyanginlar GOOD LORD SAME! I love Last Resort and its difficult to listen to now because i cant seperate it from current cultural connotation as a "meme song", i was actually playing a SOD song back in december in public and this dude younger than mes first reaction was to like. Parody sing along with it badly. and i was sitting there like. How is sod even funny. And the new recent sod song meme too, theyre just so like (out of characters)

butcherofyanginlar theyre so deepseated into taking any form of media as irony and its pissing me off LOL and i completely agree that finding loud and apparent forms of self expressions of pain to be comedic should be like. Actually analyzed and not something taken superficially. I think the appropriate reaction thats empathetic would be horror at someone being this deeply in pain and not to.. ya know. Point and laugh? It's so disconcerting

I HAD SOMEONE TELL ME "I only use emojis ironically" and I'm like dude! What the fuck! Emojis? Is nothing genuine? Is everything 5 layers deep in removal from your actual personality? What is even going on??? Anyway nu metal mockery is my berserker button because I think some of these songs you really have to turn off all empathy to laugh at, truly. You have to somehow be unaware of the fact that a person wrote this and had reasons why. Eugh. Well someone gets it at least.

[mrkanman]

honestly the outer worlds is not all that deep or cutting edge about its story and its critique like its very cookie cutter extreme capitalism and doubled with a special savior protag and like. what it SAYS is fine but its not taking itself too seriously and obsidian entertainments humor shines in its writing rather than its actual insight.

which is a shame bc obsidian entertainment really had some powerful moments with fallout new vegas, like your first confrontation with mr. house and the. well. everything with ulysses (i REALLY liked the lead up to ulysses in old world blues with the audio tapes 🥺)

and YEAH i shouldnt compare them so much but the outer worlds was regarded as the big fuck you to bethesda and i feel like the comparison isnt unwarranted.

but where obsidian entertainment has always put care into was making their companions unique and interesting with their own agendas and THAT is where the outer worlds gets to shine. you get up to six companions and they all have dialogues with each other and conversations when the player character isnt around and voices their opinions during certain quests and are FUNNY and SILLY and by the end of the game they all agree that theyre family now and its like. yes!!! yes!!!! this is what i want with ANY game that has companions!! i want them to be people so bad!! and obsidian's GOT THAT.

but like i guess where i was going with this text post was that the outer worlds is MUCH different in tone to its predecessor and is not deep and it flanderizes the insidious monsters that are corporations into parody BUT. its fun and i get to help a lesbian mechanic get a date and i like shoot gun at cops.

[9worldstales]

Loki & Thor in “Thor & Loki – Double Trouble” n° 4

So we’ve reached the last issue of “Thor & Loki – Double Trouble” and I’m gonna miss it.

To refresh everyone’s mind this comic is just a funny story that has no pretences to be serious about two brothers, Thor and Loki, who can’t get along and their meeting with their alternate selves.

I don’t know why the past month it wasn’t released, maybe since this number has Loki meeting with his Variant self they wanted to wait for Loki in the “Loki” series to do the same first? Or maybe there’s other reasons. Not a big deal.

Anyway the siblings have lost the orb that would allow them to go back home so they’re searching for it with Female Thor.

Loki has been characterized as very smart but overall doesn’t like to do physical work so when they start to search he wonders if they can use a chariot. No such luck.

Now a tiny personal peeve of mine is that they show Loki freezing and not the two Thors despite him being a Frost Giant but whatever.

Loki is clever enough to have on himself marshmallows to eat (of which he seems to be a glutton)

...and even if he asks for a ladder when they’ve to climb a mountain he’s shown as being the first getting there (he’s standing on top of it while the Thor are just climbing on the top).

Now, here is a bit confuse. Loki seems, for unknown reasons, to fall into the nest atop the mountain when Fjalara, a giant bird is about to be back. Female Thor says to hide so she and Thor jump in the nest as well.

Someone, we don’t know who, comments he wouldn’t have chosen to hide under her while someone else claims birds are sensitive so they shouldn’t upset her.

For unknown reasons Fjalara notices Loki who has just turned into a newborn bird so the two Thors ‘heroically’ catches their chance to escape. As Lady Thor wonders if they should help Loki Thor, proving he’s a ‘good’ brother, says ‘no’ because that’s the sort of sibling love they have.

Okay… this is not a story in which Thor will be the first to show care for his brother. Pity.

Though I get Loki is terrible but really, Thor is clearly not a good brother either so each has what he deserves.

At this point though, Lady Thor figures the bird is just Lady Loki who retransform back into a human and greets her.

Lady Thor blames herself claiming she should have known it was her while Thor is surprised there’s another Loki. Lady Loki asks them if they’re looking for the orb which of course she has but, although Loki confirms it he’s more interested in praising his female self which in return praises him back because LOKIS ARE THE BEST! Not only I agree but that’s how you do Variants of the same person and funny Narcissism right.

It’s a page and it’s perfect.

It’s clear they’re Variants of the same person, even more than the Thors and they don’t try to compete about who’s the better Loki but just shower themselves with appreciation. And despite this they don’t fall in love with each other.

Thor interrupts them and Loki realizes they should recover the orb but of course, as they’re the same, Lady Loki wants it too. An argument that again remarks how they’re the same person as they react the same and they’re equally strong ensues.

We don’t have a Mary Sue here, they’re the same so they’re equally strong as they keep on transforming trying to steal the orb in a battle that reminds me of the one in “The Sword in the Stone” between Merlin and Madam Mim.

Meanwhile the Thors wait and discuss on how they both find being Thor… ‘glorious’ though they seem to lack assertiveness.

Really, I wonder if this number has been done to parody the “Loki” series as well.

We’ve also a nice moment in which Thor admits he’d like to get along better with his brother… and Lady Thor tells him the Lokis get along very well with each other… until they’re ready to kill each other. That’s a subtle way of explaining the problem of being the same person.

They accept each other but the fact they’re the same stop them from completing each other and put them into competition as they want the same thing in the same time in the same way.

If Thor were to make an effort to tolerate and accept Loki more, they could instead complete each other and get along better. Lady Thor also point out Loki is trying to get the orb to bring Thor home (honestly I’m not really sold on this but it’s nice).

After a lot of time in which the Lokis are completely balanced Loki decides to give up. It’s not random, this series keep Loki as intelligent and quick witted and so what he does is part of a plan because, although this story took care to make the Lokis the same, the hero is the FIRST LOKI so he’s slightly smarter and he has a plan.

They don’t try to make Lady Loki the Mary Sue who can easily beat Loki with a hand tied behind her back or that always get things her way.

So, Loki claims, while remaining IC that he’s not going to waste his energy (with previous scenes confirming Loki doesn’t like to waste his energy) to try to get back a orb Lady Loki doesn’t know how to use.

To a confused Thor who asks him whats’ wrong Loki tells to keep quiet as he knows himself.

Lady Loki knows it’s a trick, she’s not dumbed down. However when Loki tells her not to do something she just can’t resist because Lokis always do what they aren’t supposed to do and both Lokis know but again, they can’t resist.

I mean, look at this page and at how it’s beautifully expressive.

And the funniest part is not only that Lady Loki did it but that Lady Thor didn’t want her to do it (even though she should have figured it was all Loki’s ploy to make Lady Loki do it) which Lady Loki took as an incentive because… Loki.

Thor asks his Loki what would happen now and Loki admits he has no idea in the same way he had no idea it would bring them there.

The result is they summoned a Midgard serpent again. Lady Thor echoes his again in a worried tone while Lady Loki admires the Midgard serpent.

At this point Thor gets they can cooperate and takes Loki’s arm telling him to get ready, to which Loki confirms he’s born ready and then Loki grabs the orb...

...while Thor makes them to fly away until they’re on the Midgard’s serpent back. At this point Loki turns the orb counter-clockwise so they can go home.

Lady Loki takes the loss of the orb well and says she’ll repay Lady Thor ‘for backing her up’ by doing something mean and unexpected. So yeah, they’ve probably the same kind of relation Thor and Loki had.

Anyway Loki and Thor are back home and back to the mess they left, which Thor again blames on Loki.

Loki admits he discovered by that experience Lokis could be annoying and stubborn and apologizes to Thor for the first time, because he doesn’t want to be annoying. Thor is surprised but they have a beautiful second in which Thor smiles at him, suggesting they should get back on cleaning so Odin won’t scold them and Loki agrees… for a panel.

In the next he’s already suggesting they could try something else rather daring he has been hatching, his new great plan. Basically Loki is showing that, although he doesn’t want to be annoying, he just can’t change.

In reply Thor says he’s very busy… but we know he’ll end up following Loki’s schemes again because Thor too can’t change.

And that’s the end.

And okay, I love this 4 issues series.

It was clearly a funny story, uncomplicated and meant to be funny without being judgemental.

Both brothers have flaws, both brothers can do better if they accept each other and cooperate and being exactly the same doesn’t mean you won’t argue or that you’ll be pleased with the other.

It also played the Variants right as, although they were Variants, they clearly were a Thor and Loki Variants and you would have recognized them even if they hadn’t introduced themselves and you had no idea a Lady Thor and a Lady Loki exist. Variants were well balanced among them and the story had a Variant triumph on the other only when it was fair (Lady Thor wins on Thor because that’s her place and Loki wins on Lady Loki because that’s his orb) and logic (Thor undervalued Lady Thor, Lady Loki was distracted).

Yeah, issues are addressed in an extremely light and not resolving manner, Lady Thor explains Thor deep down his brother cares for him and Loki understands he can be annoying and admits he doesn’t want tobut, for the sake of humour, they can’t change but that was the whole point of the story.

This title didn’t promise great resolutions and growth but just fun and I love it.

So really, read it, I wholeheartedly recommend it!

[popculturebuffet]

Goof Week: House of Mouse: Super Goof or Wish I Could Fly Like Super Goof (Patreon Review for WeirdKev27)

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Hello all you happy gorshers and welcome back to Goof Week, my week long celebration of Goofy’s 89th Birthday. And today I take my once a month trip down to the house of mouse as part of my patron kev’s yearlong celebration of the show’s 20th anniversary. And since I had this theme week in mind I asked him if it’d be okay if he strictly randomized goofy episodes, he said yes and here we are. 

Luck was on my side as I got what I remembered was one of my faviorite episodes of the show. But before I can get if it lived up to the hype or not a brief word on Super Goof. 

Super Goof is actually from the comics, first debuting in a story where Goofy thought he had super powers and fought the Phantom Blot in a cowboy hat. 

This concept was a hit so in 1965 Goofy was made a superhero for real with Super Goof #1. This dosen’t suprise me: this was the height of the silver age: The Lee and Kirby age of Marvel was in full swing and DC was still doing gangbusters. So there was market for a superhero spoof comic starring one of Disney’s best and brightest characters, who was given a bunch of super peanuts called super goobers to give him superman powers.  What DOES surprise me is the series lasted 74 issues from 65-84. And what’s more insane and wonderful? It didn’t get canceled because of low sales or anything. That was simply when Gold Key shut down... and Gold Key was FOUNDED three years before it meaning this book lasted the company’s ENTIRE lifespan. I’ll say that again, a book about goofy eating peanuts that started because of a story where goofy thought he was a superhero and fought a cowboy phantom blot, lasted 74 issues and only ended because the publisher shut down. That... is one of the most amazing things I have ever heard in my life. I’m genuinely impressed... this isn’t even a bad concept, I likes it and wish Disney would give it a full series. Farmer could do wonders with it. I’m just amazed that this odball little comic took off like it did. And as one final fun fact much like Superman, Super Goof set off the trend of Disney’s classic characters becoming heroes, with Donald’s own Papernik/Duck Avenger following in his footsteps. I REALLY want a Disney Superhero Verse in animatoin now, I know there was a mini series like that. And I will have to visit these comics at some point I just simply didn’t have room in the week with a movie review tomorrow. . 

So with all that out of the way how does Super Goof do on screen and does the episode hold up? Join me under the cut to find out. 

As usual for HOM I’ll be doing the shorts and overarching story seperate soooo

How To To Take Care of Your Yard:

Look anyone whose read my stuff or even just my goofy shorts special  will know how much I love the How To Shorts and how this series is responsible. This admittedly isn’t one of the BEST of them.. but it’s still fun to watch. Even a forgettable How To Short is still GOOD. It’s abotu Goofy taking care of his yard over the four seasons and has some decent gags but nothing really standout.  I Honestly DO wish I had more to say but this one’s just okay and it woudln’t stick out as much if both the wraparound and the other short weren’t so spectacular. Speaking of which. 

Locksmiths: This is one of the few shorts I VIVIDLY remembered from childhood and for damn good reason. This is THE best short i’ve seen so far for House of Mouse this year and for good reason. The premise is simple enough: The Golden Trio are locksmiths.. who end up getting locked inside their own office just after Minnie calls with something urgent to tell them. 

The results are comic gold, with the standout bits being Goofy’s keys which is just such a wonderful hurricane of puns with some great visual gags to start it off that I can’t help but love it

There’s TONS of other good stuff too: The boys fishing for the key, Mickey opening a ton of doors in a sequence MST3K would be proud of and the finale with the boys falling out the office. This is a true , hilarious classic and my words can’t really do it justice. Seek this one out on it’s own or in the episode you will not regret it. A true classic for Disney Shorts period. 

Super Goof:

So onto the main story. Goofy asks Clarabelle out and she’s not only incredibly receptive but simply asks to check her schedule.. which he interprets as no.  I would make a joke here but i’ts clear from previous episodes HOM goofy has Low Self Esteem: he was utterly crushed not having a valentine and by his friends all wishing he could be less Goofy. So him overreacting like this is in character and comes off as endearing: it’s not that he thinks so low of her he’d think sh’ed pull something like this.. it’s that he’s so doubtful of someone liking him for who he is deep down he self sabotages something I can PAINFULLY relate to as that’s one of my biggest personal issues hands down. 

So outside presumably on break...

Not THAT kind of break. Though since I bring it up: they both were wrong. They WERE on a break, and it was wrong of tweedle dee and tweedle dum there to keep needling it ESPECIALLY since their the ones who TOLD HIM to hide his sleeping with the waitress and took NO responsibility for that. Rachel treating it like an affair constantly when she’s the one who wanted space and didn’t give him any paramerters for said is fucking terrible. It’s telling that in the reunion trailer everyone but Matthew LeBlanc, who was clearly just having some fun agreed they were.  That being said Ross still slept with someone five seconds after being on said break, still listneed to the two of them on hiding it when it was a bad idea, and STILL caused said break by being a clingy asshole to such a degree even his previous history of being cheated on does not justify or excuse how badly he treated Rachel. What i’m saying is they both sucked, and thus deserved each other, and by the end NEITHER was remotely likeable, with both having done terrible things both in said will they or won’t they hellscape and outside it, with Ross dating a student and Rachel dating her assistant. 

Anyways after that thing I clearly needed to get off my chest, we get a narration informing us a METEOR IS COMING and it strikes the peanuts Goofy’s depression snacking on, as a result he becomes SUPER GOOF! And after a display of his powers with various disney characters (finding Gepetto and Pinocchio in a whale, saving the dalmations from cruella , lifting the giant from the littlest tailor) and finds he has a narrator. No really Goofy notices and is not happy about it despite all superheros having one. I mean he’s not wrong, look what the X-Men’s did to  Cyclops:

But regardless he has him and Goofy flies through the air with the quickest of ease through the house of mouse impressing everyone who has no idea he’s goofy. This gag is a carry over from the comics and a transparent parody of the superman clark kent thing. But it works because Goofy still uses his name in costume, still has his hat and really changes nothing about his appearance. It’s simple but sometimes you just need a very simple gag to work and overxplaning it spoils the whole thing. Trust me I know as a certified experinced fuck up. 

So after the first cartoon Super Goofy guest stars, and we get some neat gags with the disney movie characters, though my faviorite is Peter Pan’s reactoin of “He Can fly he can fly he can fly, big deal. Anyone can do that”. It’s both perfectly in character and utterly hilarious. 

Goofy however starts to feel disheartneed as everyone compliments him.. and Minnie says he’s better than a regular goofy as do the others minus Mickey because he’s a good egg. And Clarabelle but he misinertperts her like of super goof as her liking him better as that. 

So fed up with everyone liking him better, Goofy throws away the peanuts, which he kept in his hat.. though one did fall in his waiter’s uniform. Remember that. The narrator questions if this is really the end and what if there’s peril but Goofy’s stubbornly instiant he won’t do it no matter what. 

Cue the what: another MUCH LARGER metor heading straight for Mainstreet

Goofy refuses to summon super goof despite the danger... Mickey has an apt response for him

This is the one scene I don’t really like: Goofy has a righ tto be upset they all prefer someone who just showed up hours ago over him, especially beceause it IS him, to the point Daisy was upset she got a picture of goofy instead of super goofy because J Jonah Jameson’s not going to pay for pictures of his next door neighbor. But Mickey has a right to not want to die horribly in a cataclysm of fire. 

So Goofy mopes off like his son to go save the world, fine whatever. Only as is cartoon law, the trash has been picked up meaning he dosen’t have any goobers.. except the CHEKOVS GOOBER. With it he chews it, flies up and has a truly impressive display holding it back while it’s just over clarabelle before dispoising of it. he hits on her in super form but she says she already has  date with regular goofy. Goofy’s confidence is restored, he’s probably getting laid tonight and we close on a Mike add for a school for Goofy’s. How much is tution.. asking for a me. 

Final Thoughts: This wraparound was great, a few small flaws but it has a great, engaging charcter driven story with some delightfully silly jokes that are right up my ally. It’s easy to see besides my love of superheroes why this one stood out to me: It’s funny, heartwrenching and stars one of my faviorite character.

The shorts are also good, one that’s okay , a bit too long but not bad, and one that’s an utter masterpiece. In fact the only reason the first short feels so long is you really want to get back to the main plot fast,  and that’s not a bad problem to have. This was an excellen tepisode and I recommend seeing it out. 

Before I get to my whole patreon speil, i’d like to say that House of Mouse STILL is not avaliable on Disney+ for reasons that haven’t been made clear. As such it’s on my Not Streaming List, a list I keep and update reguarly of shows that SHOULD be streaming on a particular service and have no clear reason NOT to be such as musical rights issues like the ones likely keeping shows like Drew Carrey, Northern Exposure and Murphy Brown off streaming. So check that out if your curious, link is on my main page and hit me up if you have any suggestoins for it. 

So thank you for reading and if you liked this review give it a like and consider joining my patreon at patreon.com/popculturebuffet. As a patron you’d get access to exclusive reviews, the patreon’s discord and to pick a short each time I do one of these shortstaculars. Donald’s comnig next month and the deadline is in only a few days to join up for said month so the clock is ticking. Even a dollar a month helps me reach my stretch goals so please i fyou can sign up today and if not, I understand and i’ll see you at the next rainbow